THE DUMB STUFF

When I was a kid me and my brother used to play this pretend game called “Jonny and Freddy”. The narrative, such as it was, was about two orphaned toddlers who lived in a hospital, and the general idea was they were kind of an element of chaos who break loose, take over the hospital PA, yell a bunch of gibberish over the loudspeakers and for whatever reason the entire hospital staff has no way of stopping them. As the game evolved there are a couple of doctors who are the only people that can reign them in. There's a fat doctor named doctor Shepard and then there's a thin guy and I forget what his name was. I portrayed Jonny as wearing a light blue onesie and having black or brown hair that stuck up in all directions. Freddy wore a black onesie and had red hair that stuck up in all directions. Past the initial notion of the two babies wreaking havoc on the PA system there really wasn't anywhere you could take it. I think the two doctors were eventually supposed to adopt them or something.

Jonny and Freddy. I have no idea where the hell that was going. Probably nowhere, which added to its naïve charm.

Funny thing was, I remember my parents having a distinct hate-on for the game. I mean, they actively DID NOT WANT US TO PLAY IT.

Kinda like when I had this dayglo orange rabbit's foot that I used to call “Blurp”, and I used to pretend it was a Kaiju, draw comics where it was fighting other monsters and whatnot. Blurp conveniently disappeared at one point. I spent months, maybe years, agonizing and trying to find it. “I'm sure he'll turn up,” my Mom told me. Later on she confessed that Blurp “disappeared”, because it's just not socially acceptable for a 12-year-old to be running around with a stupid orange rabbit foot, squawking, “BLURP! BLURP!”

I never got to have any fun back then.

THIS WEEK'S PLAYLIST:

SKINNY PUPPY-”Mind: The Perpetual Intercourse”

SKINNY PUPPY-”Rabies”

(All Skinny Puppy all the time!)

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