“IF YOU'VE GOT A PROBLEM, GET OUT OF THE WAY”: YOUR ONE LOUSY TRIGGER WARNING (WHAT TO EXPECT WHEN THE S.E. APOCALYPSE KREW ALBUM COMES OUT)

If producing “The Abbey of the Lemur” for 20 years has taught me anything, it's that people will cue up like it's the ticket line at Disneyland for the opportunity to be offended so they can clutch their pearls in outrage. That sounds hyperbolic, but I'm not joking. One amusing upside to our beating Bob Emenegger's 2003 Obscenity Rap (prompted, according to some, by actors within the Fayetteville City Government, and most definitely spurred on in the public eye by some of their close allies in the local print media) was that it gave people a rough education to the Miller Obscenity Test---because nobody could fathom the fact that we knew and were able to follow those guidelines. People had begun calling in to Fayetteville's Public Access station asking for copies of the Miller Standards in an effort to play amateur District Attorney and try to bust us for Obscenity (it never worked).

While my goal has never been to actively offend audiences (more to entertain, inspire and stimulate----offensiveness is just sometimes a natural by-product of these other goals) the will to provoke has always been in my DNA. When Mike McAdam and I formed the S.E. Apocalypse Krew back in the 80s, some of the paramount things firing me up were the puritanical machinations of the PMRC in their efforts to censor music. Kicking against the pricks is just so deeply ingrained in my nature it's just going to come out of me no matter what the hell I'm doing.

So we knew, back in the 80s and 90s, when we wrote a lot of these songs, that they had potential to push some buttons. Now, in these hypersensitive times, it feels like the potential is more ripe than ever. On our album cover, we proudly boast “No Trigger Warnings”, but in the interest of fairness, because some folks rove around with a score card, if you're punching your ticket for this wild ride, here's a laundry list of trigger warnings, your last shot across the bough----and if pearl-clutching happens to be your pastime-of-choice, we gotcha covered----there's something for everyone.

     “Threats and Warnings”

WHO'LL BE OFFENDED: Authority figures of all stripes, parents, educators, politicians and media.

WHAT IT SEEMS TO BE: A demonic ripdown of all things good, decent and respectable.

WHAT IT IS: Angry polemic against all authority, censorship, safe spaces and people who like to try and candy coat the world.

WHO SHOULD BE OFFENDED: All the aforementioned.

“Time Bomb”

WHO'LL BE OFFENDED: People who are comfortable, in charge and invested in a system where people fall through the cracks, PC types, pleebs, neoliberals and winners.

WHAT IT SEEMS TO BE: Portrait of a man on a rampage---it's bad news bears, man....

WHAT IT IS: Portrait of a man hitting his last straw---and if that scares you, maybe it should.

WHO SHOULD BE OFFENDED: All of the above.

“Kid Eternity”

WHO'LL BE OFFENDED: The overly sensitive, parents, suicide survivors, cutters, histrionics, censorship types, do-gooders, the psychiatric community, people who have no sense of humor.

WHAT IT SEEMS TO BE: An abomination---a tasteless, sick joke.

WHAT IT IS: A lampoon of social hysteria, moral panic and emotional necrophilia with a special dash of disdain for those who opportunistically blame music, movies or video games when a kid goes off the rails.

WHO SHOULD BE OFFENDED: Those who opportunistically blame music, movies or video games when a kid goes off the rails.

“Medicine Cabinet”

WHO'LL BE OFFENDED: Uptight adults, straight edgers, M.A.D.D., D.A.R.E. And the Just Say No Crowd.

WHAT IT SEEMS TO BE: A song that advocates drug abuse.

WHAT IT IS: A song that talks about drug abuse and addiction in an unapologetically non-judgmental fashion.

WHO SHOULD BE OFFENDED: Anyone who can't get past propaganda.

“Waiting for Melissa”

WHO'LL BE OFFENDED: Easy listening fans, Led Zeppelin.

WHAT IT SEEMS TO BE: A smokin' hot instrumental.

WHAT IT IS: A smokin' hot instrumental.

WHO SHOULD BE OFFENDED: Absolutely no one.

“Jesus on a Stick”

WHO'LL BE OFFENDED: Religious people, bigots, conservatives, alt righters, PC liberals, the kinds of SJWs that take everything literally, Trump Supporters.

WHAT IT SEEMS TO BE: A questionably-humored appeal to bigotry and violence.

WHAT IT IS: A savagely humorous indictment of religious bigotry and those who abuse it for fun and profit.

WHO SHOULD BE OFFENDED: Xenophobes, Christians who are bothered over being equated with xenophobes (and, you know, y'all really SHOULD be bothered!)

“Melissa”

WHO'LL BE OFFENDED: People with delicate sensibilities, feminists, SJWs, PC-types.

WHAT IT SEEMS TO BE: Senselessly misogynistic, hateful garbage that implies violence.

WHAT IT IS: Senselessly juvenile, obnoxious racket wrapped up in puerile contempt for no good reason and to no good end.

WHO SHOULD BE OFFENDED: You. Yeah. You.

“Pig”

WHO'LL BE OFFENDED: People who think songs should be nice, unobjectionable and provide good examples for young people.

WHAT IT APPEARS TO BE: Pure, unbridled hatred and hostility.

WHAT IT IS: Pure, unbridled hatred and hostility but it's kind of laughing up its sleeve over the whole thing.

WHO SHOULD BE OFFENDED: Your mama.

“Rise”

WHO'LL BE OFFENDED: Meek people with delicate sensibilities.

WHAT IT SEEMS TO BE: Advocacy for aggression and insensitivity.

WHAT IT IS: Anthem and rallying cry for the Dreg Movement.

WHO SHOULD BE OFFENDED: The complacent, people on victim trips, those who benefit from complacency and victim trips.

“Keep Walking”

WHO'LL BE OFFENDED: Sensitive types, SJWs, Red Pillers, people who get laid.

WHAT IT SEEMS TO BE: Bitter, resentful Incel angst.

WHAT IT IS: An anthem of hope and empowerment for guys and girls who aren't getting any.

WHO SHOULD BE OFFENDED: If you think you might be, you probably should be.

“Truth is Dead”

WHO'LL BE OFFENDED: Politicians, professional liars, punditry, poll takers and self-help gurus.

WHAT IT SEEMS TO BE: Jazzy music wrapped around a rant against media, politics and lies.

WHAT IT IS: Jazzy music wrapped around a rant against media, politics and lies.

WHO SHOULD BE OFFENDED: People who think any of this shit matters.

“Fear and Hate”

WHO'LL BE OFFENDED: Probably anyone in earshot.

WHAT IT SEEMS TO BE: A barreling, abrasive blast of foulmouthed, hostile invective for no discernible reason; Harmful, hateful screaming and threats. Ooooh, angry is bad!!!!!! Stop that!!!! Don't be angry!!!!!

WHAT IT IS: An unsettlingly cathartic swipe at Bully Culture in any and all forms.

WHO SHOULD BE OFFENDED: The top of the food chain.

“23”

WHO'LL BE OFFENDED: Bad Parents, bad lovers, people who like good singing.

WHAT IT SEEMS TO BE: Ethereal angst.

WHAT IT IS: Ethereal, ambiguous angst.

WHO SHOULD BE OFFENDED: Abusers, manipulators, gaslighters.

“Black”

WHO'LL BE OFFENDED: People who think songs should be happy.

WHAT IT SEEMS TO BE: Doom, gloom, paranoia and despair, a piece of music that unfortunately gives voice to disenfranchisement.

WHAT IT IS: Doom, gloom, paranoia and despair, a piece of music that fortunately gives voice to disenfranchisement.

WHO SHOULD BE OFFENDED: Anyone who happens to be a part of the problem.

“Outsider”

WHO'LL BE OFFENDED: The fortunate, elistists, neoliberals, exploiters, the well-adjusted, the ignorant, homeowners.

WHAT IT SEEMS TO BE: The story of a loser on a rampage.

WHAT IT IS: The story of a loser who's probably not doing a goddamn thing.

WHO SHOULD BE OFFENDED: Most definitely the homeowners.

“The Candidate's a Religious Man Talking Blues”

WHO'LL BE OFFENDED: Republicans, Democrats, the Establishment, the Punditry, Washington Insiders.

WHAT IT SEEMS TO BE: An ignorant folk song that lampoons the leaders we hold sacred.

WHAT IT IS: An irreverent throwback to the classic protest song.

WHO SHOULD BE OFFENDED: Politicos of all stripes, spin doctors, social climbers, people who think any of this sad spectacle means anything.

“First Stare”

WHO'LL BE OFFENDED: Pop fans, censorship types, PC feminists, SJWs, weenies, people with dainty palates, twee types, fans of love songs, romantics, dorks.

WHAT IT SEEMS TO BE: Vapid ballad that slides abruptly into a barrage of noise that advocates violence against women.

WHAT IT IS: A goof on asinine top 40 love songs.

WHO SHOULD BE OFFENDED: Humans.

       RISE will be released soon. Stay tuned right here for details.

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PIG MAN LEVEL TWO: As a lot of you know, late-ish last summer my entire life fell into a hole (in my heel) and I've been struggling to get out ever since. In week two after the skin graft I went back to the doctor to check my progress. I was told the graft had slid but it was still an improvement and what happened wasn't on me. I've been off my foot 95% of the time, and they've told me to just keep doing what I'm doing. Because this happened, of course, I'm inclined to double down on the whole Staying-off-the-foot thang. So I might be scarce 'round these hyar parts for the near future. Don't panic.....still here.

WHAT I'M READING:

A big struggle I've had over the past several years is one that no writer should have to admit to: My snowballing inability to get through a book. Because we're Culture Vultures in this house, the stack of books we've accumulated (that I haven't read) has just grown and grown. And it's not that the books are bad----it's just a bug in my own brain. Which is to say, sorry, fellow scribes, for this egregious infraction----it's not you....it's me.

My latest exercise (over the past several months) has been trying to apply the Japanese business concept of “Kaizen” to my life.....kind of a gradual, incremental improvement model. Take baby steps. Read a page a day. Do an exercise. Try to build on that foundation.

I have good days and bad days, but the gradual rebuilding process is not going badly. So here are some of the books that I'm using to help pull myself up out of the literacy “basement”:

HARLAN ELLISON-I HAVE NO MOUTH AND I MUST SCREAM

RICHARD BRAUTIGAN-TROUT FISHING IN AMERICA

RICHARD BRAUTIGAN-THE PILL VERSUS THE SPRINGHILL MINING DISASTER

ALAN MOORE AND J.H. WILLIAMSON III-PROMETHEA VOL.1

I'm gettin' there.

THISWEEK'S PLAYLIST:

BLUE OYSTER CULT-Agents of Fortune

POESIE NOIR-Pity for the Self or We'll Teach You to Dance

ALICE COOPER-Love it to Death

THIS WEEK'S HOT NEW FEAR

In the S.E. Apocalypse Krew's song, “Kid Eternity”, we sing, “pull Dad's gun from the drawer/and aim it at my head/they'll sue Ozzy and be happy to have someone to blame”.

Obviously, it's locked into the zeitgeist of its times----the 80s, the Satanic Panic and all that happy horseshit. Even back then, no one was going to mistake us for politically correct. The protagonist of the song practices suicidal ideation and self-mutilation, literally cutting his nose (or ears) off to spite his face....or anyone else that irks him. Yeah, we know....maybe we're coarse, maybe we're insensitive....but that's how we roll. And at the end of the day, hopefully you learn it's okay to laugh at everything. Or at least think long and hard about what you're laughing at.

       We knew right from the outset we were on a collision course with certain easily-offended types and we were fine with that. Gimme a knee-jerk, pro-censorship person, I'm probably going to offend them. It always works out that way.....I'm there.

ON THE OTHER HAND, it's always an eye-opener when the pro-censorship knee-jerker goes after artists who DO handle things sensitively!

Care 2 is a Social Networking Website that brings together activists and enables them to create petitions and organize campaigns leaning toward human rights, animal rights, social justice, environmental issues and a variety of worthwhile rallying points. So it was a surprise to see some activists utilize Care2 to advocate censorship.

http://www.thepetitionsite.com/takeaction/684/075/222/?z00m=29091444&redirectID=2407597025

      One phrase that Mike and I have thrown around together since the 80s was “The Hot New Fear”, or “this week's hot fear” or other such variations on the subject.....and the hot new fear is always something that's literally sold like a bottle of mouthwash, and the media will usually jump on it and harp on it, exploiting it with little to no rational discourse or serious examination....it's usually some superficial scapegoat in the arts or entertainment, used to serve as a cultural “band-aid” to a larger problem people regard as too big to address (or too big to fail?).

Obviously, around the time we wrote “Kid Eternity” the Satanic Panic was in full bloom and the big fear was that if your kids listen to Ozzy Osbourne or Judas Priest they're going to commit suicide (and to hell with any deeper examination of issues like home life, mental health, chemical dependency or whatever---you're a terrible person if you even ask such questions!)

There have been lots of other handy fears, though....does your kid play Dungeons and Dragons? It'll turn the introverted little lamb into a babbling, Occult-practicing psychotic! Anybody remember the West Memphis 3? Three kids who were basically railroaded for a child murder due to the fact that they wore black and listened to Metallica----shit----one or two turns of circumstance and I coulda been Damien Echols! Natural Born Killers? Everyone from Bob Dole to John Grisham said it was gonna spawn a generation of homicidal maniacs. Marilyn Manson? Caused Columbine---y'know....if you disregard the fact that those two kids didn't even listen to him....

Today's fresh new fear is apparently this 13-episode Netflix series, “13 Reasons Why”. Since this show will apparently be responsible for all your childrens' deaths, let's bust it out of its virtual box and get a look at it.

      I sat down and binge-watched “13 Reasons Why” (I keep wanting to call it “13 Ways to Die”) a few weeks ago pretty much based on the fact that I found the premise interesting. For those of you who haven't been paying attention, “13 Reasons Why” is the story of this high school kid, Hannah Baker, who kills herself and leaves a series of cassette tapes detailing the events that led to her suicide to be distributed among the various parties she considers “responsible”, and as the tapes (and her narrative) unravel, the lives of those around her, the “accused”, unravel. Some (most notably the protagonist) are angry, some are dismayed and others are trying to fight to keep a lid on the whole thing for fear that it will “destroy the school” ( tenuous defense of a construct that makes little sense to anyone standing outside such an asinine bubble world).

Personally, I fucking LOVED this show.....no ifs, ands or buts. I don't think I was ready for how smart it was going to be. On one level, yes, it unflinchingly takes on a lot of the hard issues teens deal with, from harassment to bullying to rape to gossip to stalking to slut-shaming—on other levels, while the show, per se, definitely takes Hannah's “side”, it turns around and shows you that she doesn't necessarily see the whole picture---some of the events don't necessarily follow her side of the story and some of the kids in the story aren't necessarily as bad as she makes them out to be. When there's a scene where she asks Clay, the main protagonist of the story, if he thinks she could ever be as pretty as this one other character, homeboy shits in his wheaties by being like, huh? She walks away and says, “never mind----you just answered the question,” and we the viewers see that it's just one more nail in her coffin....but it's a mistake anyone could make. I could make that mistake. You could make that mistake.

So, yeah---incredibly smart show....not only does it nail everything kids are facing in school from peer pressure to bullying to suicide, to unresponsive authority figures to an entire culture that bolsters and reinforces the pecking order, it shows you the bottom line of suicide---the grief of the parents and friends—the damage left in its wake. The acting is uniformly great, especially from the two young leads----they'll rip your heart out.

Does it have the potential to resonate with young audiences in ways that might make authority figures uncomfortable? Yeah----it does. After I got done it took me several days to get “13 Reasons” and its haunted teens the hell out of my head. But that also begs the question, if authority figures are uncomfortable with that, what does it say about them? Seriously, guys----too scary? Too big an issue to deal with?

Sorry, I know----I'm being a dick about this. But you know what? Having actually lost friends to suicide, I can be a dick about this.

One thing I was unaware of was that “13 Reasons Why” is also a popular, best-selling Young Adult novel that has been revered among young audiences for a decade, now. I'm not very conversant in the topic of contemporary YA Lit, which is strange, I guess, as my first novel qualifies, technically, as “YA”----(and I'm still looking for a publisher----hint, hint!) (It covers many of the same topics----hint! HINT!)(You can read excerpts right here on this blog----HINT!!!! HINT!!!!) (Naw----I'm not self-serving in the least, am I?)-----but it's something I genuinely have not followed. Apparently it's a sufficiently beloved book to where, when the TV adaptation was announced, young fans confronted the producers and told them, in no uncertain terms, “don't fuck this up!” So obviously, much to the chagrin of some knee-jerk types, this material hits very close to home. Between the book and the show, why does this story resonate with kids?

Well, don't believe for a second it's because the story and themes were generated in a vacuum. This shit happens all the time----it was going on when I was a kid way back in the Mesozoic Era, and precious little seems to change. “13 Reasons” doesn't come by its attacks in a one-dimensional manner---the parents in the show are not cutout characters. They genuinely care for and are worried for their kids and frequently find themselves closed off from genuine communication----and there's no dressing that up---that's very often on the kids. But I think that one part of the story that gets under the skin of all the concerned adults (SPOILERS!!!!) is the last “Reason Why”----the well-intentioned-but-ineffectual student counselor whose answer to rape is basically “try to forget about it”.

Does the “culture” of a school cover up and engage in apologetics for its favored students? Betcha I can say “yes” faster than you can choke out the word “Steubenville”....like I said, no one, not the producers of the show nor the author of the book, pulled this concept out of a vacuum. Think these notions of hopeless reaching out to an adult authority figure never happen? Think the authorities are all-knowing sages who can solve all the problems of youth? Then you have to answer to this:

http://www.nbcchicago.com/news/national-international/School-Boy-8-Who-Killed-Himself-Never-Said-He-Was-Bullied-422142353.html

         So where were the concerned and able adults when this kid was being knocked unconscious in full view of the security cameras?

Eight years old. EIGHT. Yeah----good job, authorities.

And ultimately that's the problem I have with these reactionary activists....rather than actually reach out and help end the abuses and negligence that helps motivate kids toward despair, they'd prefer this easier “band-aid” route-----because taking on the hallowed pecking order is too hard...and deep down, we all love the blessed, besotted, motherfucking pecking order down to its apple-pie-and-stick-shift-drivin' Jesus core, so let's micromanage and/or ban a TV show, instead.

       To quote comedian and political commentator Jimmy Dore, "we're a nation of adult children of alcoholics....we don't get mad at the guy who screwed you over----we get mad at the guy who pointed it out and let you know about the guy screwing you over."

        Agreed, Jimmy. Well said.

         Go, Hot New Fear, Go! Except you're never that new, are you? It's the same old shit, over and over.

Except that maybe, for a change, things are a little better. Some counselors and psychiatrists have taken a new approach...they've seen the “provocative” potential of “13 Reasons” as the opportunity for a “teaching moment”----parents, watch this with your kids and take this as an entryway to a dialogue. Listen to your kids. Find out what's happening in their lives. If what you're seeing on this show rings true with them, find out why.

SMART. FOR A CHANGE. So, hey, as grumpy as I get about these things----maybe we can evolve past the bad old days of the Satanic Panic.

Be nice if someone made sure the gang at CARE 2 (or at least some of their petitioners) got the memo.