INT. THE GYMNASIUM, BROOKDALE HIGH SCHOOL. A SECTION OF THE BLEACHERS IS PULLED OUT AND THE BOYS’ GYM CLASS ARE SEATED ON THEM. MOST OF THE CLASS ARE DRESSED FOR GYM; TEESHIRTS, SHORTS, SWEATS AND SNEAKERS---WITH THE EXCEPTION OF A SMALL CONTINGENCY OF STONERS, WHO ESCHEW GYM WEAR AND GIVE OFF AN AIR OF PRACTICED DISINTEREST. DOWN TOWARD THE FRONT, BRYAN HARRIS AND A NUMBER OF HIS FRIENDS, ALL POPULAR JOCKS, HANG TOGETHER AND LAUGH AND JOKE. SEVERAL ROWS BACK, THE CAMERA PANS ACROSS JACK AND A MOTLEY ASSORTMENT OF CAST-OFFS: BLINKY EPSTEIN, A SMALL, INTENSE, BESPECTACLED BOY, MARC HODGE. A LANKY, AWKWARD, EFFEMINATE BOY WITH AN UNEVEN HAIRCUT, AND HANNIBAL, A SKINNY, MEAN-LOOKING KID WITH RATLIKE FEATURES.
THE CLASS IS BEING LECTURED AND BERATED BY COACH BELLOW, A CRAGGY, 50ish GYM COACH. ON THE OTHER SIDE OF THE GYM, THE GIRLS’ GYM CLASS IS SITTING ON ANOTHER SET OF BLEACHERS AND THEY ARE BEING LECTURED BY THEIR GYM COACH.
BELLOW:
I know a lot of you ladies have been habitually turning up out of uniform (BRIEF CUT TO THE STONER KIDS, LOOKING BORED) and not participating, and we’ve been going real easy on you….that is OVER as of this semester. You don’t show up in uniform, you don’t participate, you get a failing grade for the day!
\
JACK (V.O.):
There’s this long-running myth that we youngsters go to P.E. to get some much-needed circulation and to help build our young bodies. It’s a crock of shit, of course. This class has, since the puberty heyday of Junior High, revolved around our dicks, and not much else. It’s a big, staged battleground, where we get our manhood tested, and not everyone wins.
DURING DIALOGUE AND NARRATION, A SILENT SCENARIO PLAYS OUT:
JACK GAZES OVER AT THE GIRLS ON THE BLEACHERS ACROSS THE GYM. CHERYL KINGSLEY IS ONE OF THE GIRLS IN THAT CLASS. HE STARES WISTFULLY ACROSS THE GYM AT HER. SHE APPEARS TO BE LOOKING BACK. SEVERAL ROWS BELOW, BRYAN HARRIS GAZES AT HER AND SMILES. CUT TO CHERYL, LOOKING BORED BUT ALSO SMILING.
BELLOW:
Anyway, ladies. As the weather’s bad and we can’t put your sorry butts through too much wear and tear, I’ve got paperwork to do, so you get to play Bombardment.
(AN ASSISTANT COACH DRAGS OUT A LARGE SACK OF PINKISH-PURPLE KICKBALLS AND DUMPS THEM ON THE FLOOR.)
GENERAL RELIEF AND EXCITEMENT FROM THE BOYS. THE ASSISTANT COACH PUSHES A SLIDING PARTITION CLOSED, SEPARATING THE GIRLS’ END OF THE GYM FROM THE BOYS. JACK WATCHES CHERYL DISAPPEAR BEHIND THE PARTITION.
BELLOW:
Harris and Redmond! You guys are captains. Now, behave yourselves, girls…(HEADS OUT BACK, LEAVING THE BOYS MORE OR LESS UNSUPERVISED).
BRYAN HARRIS AND PHIL REDMOND, ANOTHER OF THE JOCKS, CHOOSE
PLAYERS. EVENTUALLY IT WHITTLES DOWN TO THE STRAGGLERS.
REDMOND:
Hannibal.
HANNIBAL JOINS REDMOND’S TEAM.
BRYAN (pointing out Jack):
Shit-for-brains. (JACK REFUSES TO MOVE) What are you, deaf? (JACK STANDS, DEFIANT) Pettet! Come on! (JACK CONCEDES TO STEP IN WITH THE TEAM, FOLLOWED BY SNICKERS. ONE BOY SAYS, “DUUHHHH”.)
BRYAN:
Fuckin’ space cowboy…
REDMOND:
I’ll take Hodge.
MARC HODGE JOINS REDMOND’S TEAM. ONE OF THE OTHER KIDS CALLS HIM, “FAGGOT”. SEVERAL OTHERS LAUGH AND MAKE FART SOUNDS.
BLINKY, ODD MAN OUT, JOINS HARRIS’S TEAM.
BRYAN:
Hey, trade.
REDMOND (LAUGHING):
Yeah, right?
BRYAN:
Come on! Blinky for Levine---whaddya say?
REDMOND:
Sure, guy….
BRYAN:
Okay….check it out. The Jew and the mouthbreather, here, for Levine. You outnumber us.
REDMOND:
Throw in Quinn.
BRYAN:
Cut me some slack, man, you outnumber us!
REDMOND:
Yeah, with cannon fodder! (Bryan looks upset) Alright---tell you what---I’ll take your trade and you’ll STILL be cryin’ for your Mommy at the end of this game.
BRYAN:
That’s what I’m talking about….now we’re cookin’ with gas.
REDMOND:
Jack, Blinky, come on. (JACK AND BLINKY CROSS OVER AND LEVINE, A BIGGER, STRONGER KID, GOES TO HARRIS’S SIDE. SEVERAL OF THE KIDS START CHANTING, “JEWBOY” AT BLINKY.)
BLINKY:
HEY! (STOPS HALFWAY. GETTING IN LEVINE’S FACE.)
You’re Jewish too, you fuck. Why don’t you say something? (LEVINE SMILES AND SHRUGS. ONE BOY YELLS, “COME ON. YOU PUSSIES!”)
LEVINE:
I might be half Jewish, but I’m not a whiney kike like you, Lipschitz.
BLINKY LETS IT DROP AND ANGRILY CROSSES TO THE OTHER TEAM AMIDST CATCALLS.
HODGE (to Blinky):
They’re bigger than you---they’re stronger than you. Too. Do you wanna be a hero? Do you wanna die a virgin?
BLINKY:
Fuck you, man---grow some balls, or at least some dignity!
HANNIBAL:
Okay. Girls---you can have your family spat later---let’s put the hurt on!
THE TWO TEAMS CONVERGE IN BATTLE. BOMBARDMENT IS A VARIATION OF DODGEBALL, WHERE TWO TEAMS ARE ARMED WITH A DOZEN OR SO BALLS. RATHER THAN BEING “OUT” WHEN HIT, PLAYERS IN BOMBARDMENT ARE SIMPLY ABSORBED INTO THE OTHER TEAM. THIS GOES ON UNTIL ONE TEAM REMAINS.
BALLS FLY AND SEVERAL BOYS ARE HIT. BLINKY TAKES A BALL DIRECTLY TO THE FACE. HODGE IS HIT IN THE LEG AS HE TRIES TO FLINCH AWAY FROM THE BALL. JACK MAKES IT PAST THE FIRST ROUND. HE SEIZES A BALL FOR HIMSELF, THROWS IT AT BRYAN BUT MISSES. HANNIBAL HITS A LARGER BOY POINT BLANK IN THE STOMACH. AS THE KID FALLS OVER, HANNIBAL SEIZES THE REBOUNDING BALL AND HITS HIS FALLEN VICTIM IN THE FACE WITH IT.
HANNIBAL:
Suck on that, Biff!
MORE BALLS FLY BACK AND FORTH. KIDS ARE HIT AND THEY TRADE BACK AND FORTH ON TEAMS. AT ONE POINT, JACK ENDS UP ON BRYAN’S TEAM. DODGING A BALL, JACK STUMBLES PAST BRYAN, WHO “ACCIDENTALLY” ELBOWS HIM IN THE FACE.
CUT TO: THE GYM LOCKER ROOM. CLOSE-UP ON BRYAN HARRIS, IN THE SHOWER.
BRYAN (Booming like a foghorn):
CUUUUUUUUUUNNNNNNT!!!!!!!
ANOTHER BOY (Picking up the yell):
Clit-TORIS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
THE CAMERA PANS DOWN THE ROWS OF LOCKERS WHERE THE BOYS ARE CHANGING. DOWN ONE ROW WE SEE A VERY LARGE BOY GRAB BLINKY BY THE SHOULDERS AND SLAM HIM, HARD AND REPEATEDLY, INTO THE LOCKERS. HANNIBAL IS PULLING OFF HIS SHIRT AND OBSERVING THE SCENE DISPASSIONATELY.
LARGE BOY:
WHAT?! WHAT?! You little kike faggot----don’t you EVER! TALK! BACK! To ME! AGAIN!
THE CAMERA MOVES TO THE NEXT ROW. JACK IS CHANGING UP. ONE BOY, BILL COURTNEY, ADDRESSES JACK.
COURTNEY:
Hey, Jackie----whaddya think of Debbie Lord?
JACK (V.O.):
Bill Courtney is not my friend and he doesn’t care what I think. He’s trying to fuck with me.
COURTNEY:
Well, I think she’s fuckin’ hot, man---I can just see her spreading her legs in front of me, that hot monkey of hers open wide, and that clit of hers shooting out six inches for me to taste….
JACK:
“Hot Monkey”?
BEHIND JACK, A TUBBIER BOY NAMED BILLY ARSENAULT SITS DOWN.
BILLY:
Don’t waste yer time, Courtney---Jackie’s not interested in girls, are ya, Jackie-Wackie?
JACK GLARES AT ARSENAULT.
COURTNEY:
Woah-ho-ho, careful, Billy, I see his nostrils flaring.
BILLY:
Aw, it’s cool. Me and Jack have an understanding. Why doncha come on over and suck my left nut just once, Jackie?
JACK:
Why don’t you come suck my ass forever, Arsenault?
BILLY:
Gee, Jack, I didn’t know you were that kind of girl!
COURTNEY, AT THIS POINT, IS TEASING MARC HODGE WITH PHIL LEVINE. HE HAS FORGOTTEN ALL ABOUT JACK.
COURTNEY:
Hey, Hodge. ever fart?
HODGE:
What?
LEVINE (stupid & slurring):
“Whuuuuut?”
COURTNEY:
Do you ever fart?
HODGE(after a long, nervous pause):
Yeah. Yeah, I fart….
COURTNEY:
I don’t!
HODGE(dumbfounded):
What? Y-yes, you do…..I….
COURTNEY AND LEVINE:
\
ONLY DWEEBS CUT THE CHEESE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! (LEVINE SNAPS HODGE’S ASS WITH HIS TOWEL. HODGE FLINCHES AND TRIES TO GET AWAY.)
LEVINE (laughing):
Faggot! (FARTS LOUDLY)
CUT TO: JACK WATCHING THIS SCENARIO WITH DISGUST. BEHIND HIM, BILLY ARSENAULT GRINS.
BILLY:
Whatsamatter Jackie-poo----you saving it for Marc? You wanting to give him the high, hard one in the butt? (JACK GLARES AT BILLY ARSENAULT AND WALKS OUT OF THE AREA) Oh, Jackie, don’t walk out on me now!!!!!!!
12. OUTSIDE IN THE HALLWAY. THE BOYS ARE LINED UP IN THE HALLWAY OUTSIDE THE GYM, WAITING FOR THE BELL TO RING. JACK,
LOOKING SICK TO HIS STOMACH, IS TOWARD THE FRONT OF THE LINE.
SNIPPETS OF CONVERSATION POP OUT OF THE CROWD---“MY DICK, YOUR SISTER.” “FAGGOT.” “POONTANG”.
JACK (V.O.):
We’re not civilized. It’s a fucking Barbarian testing ground, and people love and support the shit, top to bottom. It’s a joke. Making the Grade. Proving you’re Man enough. Maybe, deep down, people have this stupid-ass need to be powerful and strong and moronic and bigoted and ass-kicking. Maybe it’s all just nature. Maybe that makes me the unnatural one. They’d agree to that, I’m sure. I think I’d rather be dead than have to live by their Nazi Jockstrap code of ethics.
DISSOLVE TO A FLASHBACK OF THE MANDATORY PEP ASSEMBLY FOR THE HOMECOMING GAME IN NOVEMBER.
JACK (V.O.)
It was an assembly for the Homecoming Game. Brookdale Nuremburg. Why the hell are these things Mandatory? I mean, why do we all have to go? All more Master Race Mania. People can hype up all the bovines into a bloodthirsty frenzy---we must be fiercely loyal to our alma mater and rally behind those real men, The Brookdale Lions.
THROUGHOUT THE NARRATION THE CAMERA PANS ACROSS THE GYM AND WE SEE FACULTY MAKING EXCITED SPEECHES, CHEERLEADERS DOING THEIR ROUTINES, THE LIONS (Brookdale’s football team) CHARGING INTO THE GYM AND EVERYONE CHEERING AND GOING BERSERK. THE CAMERA FINALLY SETTLES IN ON A MALCONTENTED, APATHETIC LITTLE SECTION OF THE BLEACHERS. JACK AND A NUMBER OF OTHER OUTCASTS SEEM TO BE STOICALLY TOLERATING ALL THE GOINGS ON.
JACK (V.O.):
Everyone was having the usual conniption fit, making the wave, stomping and yelling. It’s been a black mark regularity since Junior High that there’s always one Deviant little section at these things who don’t act up, never make noise….that’s cool by me, ‘cause I guess that’s where I belong in the scheme of things. We are a sad lot….so unpatriotic. So lacking in pep.
VOICE:
Jack!!!!!
JACK LOOKS DOWN TOWARD THE FLOOR. CAROL GATES AND HER BEST FRIEND, ZOE MILLER, ARE STRAGGLING IN. ZOE, DWARFED BY CAROL, LOOKS LIKE A BOHEMIAN NIGHTMARE.
JACK:
Zoe! How’s your attitude?!
ZOE (yelling):
My attitude sucks!!!!! (THE TWO GIRLS SHUFFLE OFF IN AN ATTEMPT TO FIND SEATS)
SEVERAL MORE SHOTS OF CHEERLEADERS FORMING PYRAMIDS, PEOPLE CHEERING AND JACK’S LITTLE SECTION OF BLEACHER LOOKING APATHETIC.
CUT TO: SCHOOL LETTING OUT---JACK MAKES A QUICK EXIT INTO THE STUDENT PARKING LOT. CHERYL KINGSLEY AND A GAGGLE OF HER FRIENDS CROSS JACK’S PATH. THE GIRLS ARE IN MID-CONVERSATION.
CHERYL:
…Heard she’s going with Steve…
JO ANN :
OH-MY-GOD!
AMY:
He is SOOOO hot….
JILL:
But SHE’S so….
JO ANN BREAKS FREE OF THE GROUP AND GETS UP IN JACK’S FACE.
JO ANN:
Oh, HI, honey, you’re so CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUTE….
THE GIRLS EXPLODE INTO LAUGHTER. JACK CONTINUES ON, HEAD DOWN. BRIEF SHOT OF CHERYL, LOOKING BACK, NOT LAUGHING. JACK DOES NOT SEE THIS.
A FEW ROWS OVER, A MOB OF KIDS BURSTS OUT OF THE GYMNASIUM . IT IS MADE UP OF MEMBERS OF THE FOOTBALL TEAM AND OTHER KIDS. THEY ARE CARRYING A LARGE, PAPIER MACHE CAGE CONSTRUCT WITH A LARGE POSTERBOARD SIGN ON IT, READING, “STOMP THE EAGLES”.
JACK WATCHES AS THE MOB STORMS ACROSS THE STREET AND OFF SCHOOL PROPERTY. THE KIDS FORM A CIRCLE AND THERE IS MUCH COMMOTION, JUMPING AROUND AND CHEERING. JACK DRAWS CLOSER, STILL MAINTAINING A COMFORTABLE DISTANCE. IN THE CENTER OF THE MOB, TWO BOYS HAVE TAKEN THEIR SHIRTS OFF. THEY BEAT EACH OTHER BLOODY AS THE OTHER KIDS CHEER THEM ON. THE FIGHT EVENTUALLY GRINDS TO A HALT, AND EVERYONE BRINGS THE TWO TIRED, BLOODY COMBATANTS TOGETHER TO SHAKE HANDS AND MAKE UP. AS THE TWO ATTEMPT TO DO THIS, SOME OF THE CROWD VIOLENTLY SHOVES ONE BOY INTO THE OTHER AND THE BRAWL STARTS UP AGAIN. IT DOESN’T LAST LONG, THOUGH, AND EVENTUALLY, THE BOISTEROUS MOB BREAKS UP AND RETURN TO SCHOOL GROUNDS TO PACK IT IN, CATCH THEIR BUSES, DRIVE HOME OR WHATEVER.
JACK PASSIVELY WALKS ACROSS THE STREET TO GET A LOOK AT THE TABLEAU. THE GROUND IS ALL TORN UP, TORN BITS OF CLOTHING, RIBBON AND THE PAPIER MACHE CAGE, WHICH LIES IN RUIN, ARE STREWN EVERYWHERE. THE “STOMP THE EAGLES” SIGN BLOWS BY LIKE A TUMBLEWEED.
IN THE MIDDLE OF THE MESS, JACK FINDS A DEAD BIRD, OBVIOUSLY A SACRIFICIAL “MASCOT” FOR THE OPPOSING TEAM, THE EAGLES, THE BIRD HAS LITERALLY BEEN STOMPED TO DEATH. JACK GLARES AT THE DEAD BIRD, DOUBLES OVER, VOMITS AND BEGINS CRYING UNCONTROLLABLY. EVENTUALLY, HE REGAINS SOME COMPOSURE, SUMMONS HIS STRENGTH AND DIGS A SMALL HOLE IN THE DIRT. HE PUSHES THE BIRD INTO THE HOLE WITH HIS FOOT AND PUSHES THE DIRT BACK OVER IT. HE PULLS HIMSELF TOGETHER AND LIMPS BACK TO THE EDGE OF THE ROAD.
BEFORE HE CAN CROSS, A SMALL, BLUE CAR ZOOMS BY. IT IS FILLED WITH KIDS. “STOMP THE EAGLES” IS SCRAWLED ACROSS THE CAR IN SHAVING CREAM. ONE BOY HANGS HALFWAY OUT THE WINDOW AND LEERS AT JACK.
KID (tongue hanging out):
MUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!
THE CAR SPEEDS AWAY. JACK STARES AFTER IT, LOOKING WOUNDED.
JACK(V.O.):
It was the face of everything people stand up and cheer for. (AS JACK’S NARRATION CONTINUES, THE SCENE DISSOLVES BACK TO HIM, STANDING IN LINE IN THE HALLWAY.) This world is a meat factory. It’s a slaughterhouse jockeyed by goons who wear the hallowed school colors. I can dream up plenty of nice images and memories to make me say, oh, it’s not that bad---then the dead bird pops up again and proves me wrong. Hell, it was patriotic! It was good, clean fun! It was for pride, for the fucking Lions! It was apple pie and “be true to your school”.
THE BELL RINGS, JERKING JACK OUT OF HIS FUNK. HE BEGINS MOVING FORWARD, BUT IS OBVIOUSLY STILL DISTURBED.
BILLY (moving up behind him):
Move yer big, fat smelly ass, you faggot retard! Some of us have to get to…
JACK WHIRLS AROUND AND THROWS A RIGHT CROSS TO BILLY ARSENAULT’S JAW. BILLY FALLS BACKWARD INTO THE CROWD. STILL HOT, JACK TURNS AND CONTINUES WALKING, VERY QUICKLY. BILLY STAGGERS BACK UP THROUGH THE CROWD AND SLAMS HIS LOOSELEAF NOTEBOOK DOWN SQUARELY ON JACK’S HEAD. HE STUMBLES OFF TO THE SIDE AND JACK CONTINUES WALKING.
JACK:
What was that----a piece of paper??? (CONTINUES WALKING, VERY QUICKLY) (V.O.): I figure I save about as much face as he did. I pretend I’m walking away with dignity…just a little, just a tiny bit….
13. INT. SENIOR COMMONS ROOM, BROOKDALE HIGH SCHOOL. CLOSEUP SHOT OF ZOE MILLER. P.O.V. JACK. SHE IS SCANNING JACK’S HEAD FOR ANY POSSIBLE INJURIES. ZOE IS A PETITE, BOHEMIAN BRUNETTE WHO WEARS GLASSES.
JACK:
Any blood?
ZOE:
Nope…sorry, Jack---no big, brave battle scars today. Only thing wounded is your pride.
JACK:
Figures. (TWO JOCKS LOOM INTO THE SCENE)
JOCK #1:
Hey, Zook---isn’t this OUR usual seat?
JOCK #2:
Yep. Hey, Misery Chick! We’re evicting you.
ZOE:
Suck me until I bleed.
JOCK #2:
LISTEN, bitch…
JOCK #1:
Hey! Buddy! You need to try and control your woman---keep her mouth shut!
JACK:
She’s not “My Woman”. And please---suck her until she bleeds. (THE TWO SEEM TO SILENTLY DECIDE IT’S NOT WORTH THE TROUBLE AND THEY WANDER ON. JACK AND ZOE SETTLE DOWN.)
ZOE:
Smell the genius in THIS room!
JACK:
So, Zoe, how’s your attitude?
ZOE:
My attitude sucks.
JACK:
Atta girl. How’s your day been?
ZOE:
Well, I was up ‘til two in the morning, working on some new sketches, and that wasn’t real good for me, but inspiration is sometimes a cruel mistress---so I’m fairly exhausted, still.
JACK:
I’ll bet.
ZOE:
Then there’s Home Ec, and I can’t stand LeBeau, she’s such a cow---I think she picks on me, personally---takes out all her rage against feminism and 21st century thought on poor little Miss Miller. Sexual Revolution? All my fault. Watergate? All my fault. The stupid economy? Guess who? I’m her own private nightmare, you know…
JACK:
That’s what I keep hearing. So, other than the heartbreak of Cow Economics, how’s life with the Zoster?
ZOE:
Oh…..alright, I guess….I was talking to Carol last night…..
JACK:
Yeah?
ZOE:
Oh, God, she was going on about this weekend camping trip she’s going on with her brother and a few of his friends…she kept giggling and laughing and cutting out of the conversation and saying, “stop it! Stop it!” And I asked her who she was talking to and she said, “oh, it’s my boyfriend, he keeps tickling me!”
JACK:
Who’s her boyfriend?
ZOE:
She doesn’t have one…she’s been doing this for a couple of weeks, now---she makes them up.
JACK:
Jesus Christ!
ZOE:
I know, right? God, Jackie, I just don’t know what to do with her!!!! (THERE IS A LOUD RUCKUS OUTSIDE THE COMMONS ROOM) What the fuck?!
KIDS BEGIN FILING OUT TO SEE WHAT’S GOING ON.
JACK:
Oboy! Go, lemmings, go!
ZOE:
Don’t be so cynical, young man---the entire foundation of our culture is built on the desire to rubberneck at car accidents, and you know that you want to! Future generations depend on it!
JACK:
Yay, future!!! Before too long we’ll be making toast with shoehorns and riding around the skies in flying cars---we’ll be just like the fucking Jetsons!
ZOE:
I know, right? Come on---before the carnage is over---let’s be good Americans!
(THE TWO GATHER UP THEIR BOOKS AND BAGS AND HEAD OUT INTO THE HALL)
JACK AND ZOE BLUNDER INTO A LARGE BOTTLENECK IN THE HALLWAY. IN THE MIDDLE OF IT, BRYAN HARRIS AND A STONER ARE SQUARED OFF IN A FIST FIGHT. KIDS ARE SURROUNDING THEM, THROWING THEIR FISTS AND CHANTING, “FIGHT! FIGHT! FIGHT! FIGHT!”
JACK SEES CHERYL, LOOKING DISTRESSED, ON THE OTHER END OF THE HALLWAY.
KIDS:
FIGHT! FIGHT! FIGHT! FIGHT!
JACK LOOKS OVER HIS SHOULDER AND SEES SEVERAL KIDS HOLDING UP THEIR CELL PHONES. HE LOOKS MOMENTARILY PERPLEXED AND ANNOYED BY THIS AND TURNS BACK TO THE ACTION. PEOPLE ARE CHEERING ON EITHER ONE OF THE TWO BOYS. BEFORE EITHER OF THEM CAN MAKE ANY HEADWAY, THREE TEACHERS INTRUDE AND BREAK UP THE FIGHT.
TEACHER:
Okay! Break it up! Everybody get to your classes! (BRYAN AND THE STONER KID ARE HAULED OFF BY THE TEACHERS. THE CROWD DISPERSES.)
ZOE:
Gladiatorial contest’s over---let’s go, Jack--- (GRABS JACK’S ARM. JACK LOOKS BACK OVER HIS SHOULDER AND SEES CHERYL WANDER OFF LOOKING DISGUSTED)
HANNIBAL (Turning up behind Jack & Zoe):
Looks like Biff got a chance to show off his dick size again….Cheryl has to be on the bottom tonight.
JACK (looking annoyed):
Biff…what, Hannibal? You mean Bryan?
HANNIBAL:
Bryan. Biff. They’re ALL fuckin’ Biff!
ZOE PULLS JACK BACK INTO THE COMMONS ROOM.
ZOE:
OKAY, back to reality. Wednesday we do the library, right?
JACK:
Huh?
ZOE:
The library. We agreed on that, right? Hello? Report for Bannister’s Class? Sacco/Vanzetti trial?
JACK:
Oh. Oh. Oh. Shit---that’s due next week, huh?
ZOE:
You are correct, sir! You win the Prize. Wednesday is still good for you, right?
JACK:
Yeah! Sure…
ZOE:
Cool! Am I driving?
JACK:
Could you?
ZOE:
I suppose…hey---hanging out with Blinky tonight---he’s wanting to play Magic: The Gathering. You wanna come?
JACK:
Huh? Oh---no, I’ve gotta work tonight, and then I gotta read a couple chapters….
ZOE:
You sure? It’s gonna be me and half a dozen virgins----I’m going to need SOME protection….
JACK (laughing):
Naw---wish I could----I’d prefer it. (THE BELL RINGS)
ZOE:
Damn!!! Okay---gotta go---seeya!
JACK:
Yeah. Seeya. (THE TWO GO THEIR SEPARATE WAYS. AS JACK WALKS DOWN THE HALL A WAYS HE IS STOPPED BY MRS. ROSEN, AN ENGLISH LIT TEACHER)
MRS. ROSEN:
Jack!
JACK:
Hey, Mrs. Rosen….
MRS. ROSEN:
Jack, you’re one of my best students---how would you feel about doing me a favor?
JACK:
Will if I can…what’s up?
MRS. ROSEN:
I have a student in one of my classes…this student is finishing up the same unit you are….she’s sort of floundering on Thomas Hardy. How do you feel about tutoring?
JACK:
Tutoring?
MRS. ROSEN:
Just help her get through JUDE THE OBSCURE, Jack. I think she’s sincere in her desire to do well----just see if you can prevent her from flunking the unit.
JACK:
Yeah, I guess it’s mot much of a problem!
MRS. ROSEN:
GOOD! That’s my boy. (SHE HANDS HIM A PIECE OF PAPER) So, how did you feel about Mr. Hardy?
JACK:
I liked it---had a really profound effect on me. (SECOND BELL RINGS) Hey, Mrs. Rosen…? Could you do me up an admit slip?
MRS. ROSEN:
Oh, absolutely! (SHE SCRAWLS A NOTE OUT ON A NOTEPAD) Thank you, Jack! (SHE HANDS HIM THE ADMIT SLIP AND HE HEADS OFF. HE GLANCES DOWN AT THE NAME OF THE STUDENT HE WILL BE TUTORING)
CUT TO: A CLOSE-UP OF THE NAME AND PHONE NUMBER. IT IS CHERYL KINGSLEY’S.
JACK (V.O.):
Oh my god.
